FIRE AND RAIN

 FIRE AND RAIN. (for Dr V)

So many times—more than I care to count—
words fail me in their projected assertions.
My walls have grown too high,
too daunting a task to ask for accommodation. I can be unreasonable at times,
I'd say I'm most guilty of self-blame and shame—
it doesn't thrill me to admit it.
Yet, in an apology worth more than mere words,
for it to resonate with meaning,
these truths I must acknowledge to you. As you say in your infinite wisdom,
"the good news is, it's not about you."
I am sorry for the mirrors of perception
I misplaced along the way. I am not broken, but some days
I feel too heavy to walk.
Maybe I'm like everyone else.
Maybe I'm nothing like anyone else.
I haven't unlocked the answers
to life's many hacks just yet. The one certainty I know, without hesitation,
is that I always want to reflect and refract
the spectrums and prisms
that showcase the best of me. Few things wound me more
than the thought of hurting anyone else—
especially you.
I know I'm "complicated,"
but my unconditional heart beats
in rhythm with compassion's pulse. I appreciate you; I should say it more often.
You deserve that validation.